The Wizard of OZ
by Tintenschwert
Summary: Guess who is the wizard? Silly story about Gundam people playing wizard of Oz. MM later on. you have been warned .Have fun
1. Chapter 1

The Wizard of OZ

A really stupid idea I had; a very silly pun, but I had to do it

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing not mine, Wizard of Oz not mine. I make no money and want to warn all of the anti yaoi/shonen ai people: Consider yourself warned! No guarantee for whatsoever, I won´t take it back and you don´t have to write me a review telling me I´m a complete idiot, i´m very well aware of it myself.

Just to mention it: I haven´t seen the wizard of Oz (the movie, not the guy) for a while, so I maybe mix some things up or something...

Cast:

Dorothy Heero

Toto Wuf(f)ei – next pun sorry

Tin Man Trowa

Scarecrow Quatre

Lion Duo

Wicked Witch of the West Relena of course

Wicked Witch of the East Lady Une

Good Witch of the North Zechs (you have a better idea?)

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The five Gundam professors were excited, not to say: enthusiastic. „A hurricane, a hurricane!" they exclaimed happily. „I´m going to test that new armor" „Let´s see how far my new laser beam will come through that storm" and „Where´s my camera? I _must_ take some pictures of Professor J in that new spacesuit he´s going to try on." Well, actually the last wasn´t about the hurricane, but nevertheless a sentence worth displaying. Heero sighed. He was sitting in his room and playing solitaire on his laptop. The old geezers weren´t really thinking he would _work_ all the time he used that thing. Wufei was busy practicing with his sword; thrust, parry, thrust, thrust, and screaming all the time „Injustice" A crack came to Heeros ears. There you go: Wufei had managed to crash another piece of furniture. This time a chair. Heero didn´t respond at all. He reached under his pillow, just to make sure his gun was still there. Another crash. Heero took his gun and decided to take it with him, just in case...

The hurricane was one of a kind. It roared like the world would come to an end by tonight. The five professors had made themselves comfortable at their bombshelter in their backyard. G sent him an e-mail: "01, we´re staying overnight. Don´t let 05 destroy more stuff.G" Attached to it was a picture of Dr J in a spacesuit. That was a sight Heero would NOT want to see. Even if he had to rip his own eyes out. The least he could do was to make sure Wufei saw it too. Mission accomplished; Heero was sure, Wufei wouldn´t crash any more things tonight; he looked more catatonic now.

Suddenly the whole house cracked as it was torn off the ground. Heero looked out of one window. He was right indeed. The house was whirling several feet in mid-air. Wufei joined him, muttering „Injustice" and Heero just didn´t react at all. All of a sudden, the colors went irritatingly bright and they got the impression of falling a loooong way down...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing not mine. Wizard of Oz neither.

Author´s talk: Wow, 2 chapters in between 24 hours.

NOW UPDATED CHAPTER

There was a sound of something crashing down on the floor and a cry that could have been a silent „Ouch!" but Heero wasn´t too sure about this. His hands went to his gun, the cool metal made him more calm.

„INJUSTICE!" Heero didn´t really want to know what Wufei was up to now, but this time it seemed more serious. Heero looked at Wufei. He managed a little „What the..." before bursting into laughter. Wufei had now fluffy dog-ears at his head; his hands looked like little paws and a tail was wiggling behind him. Too funny. Wufei barked at him. Heero cooled down a bit, shot a glance at Wuf(f)ei and asked „What happened?" Wufei gave him a puzzled look. Heero wasn´t sure he did want to know really. The two climbed out of what was left of the house.

Outside was a little village. It was bright. The colors were nearly burning their eyes out of their sockets, they felt like they were sucked into a child´s painting. You know, that one´s which hang on the fridges of your grannies.

„Wufei, I don´t think we´re in Kansas anymore." Heero said with stern expression on his face. The dog(?) nodded. "Wait a tick, "he said "I thought we lived in Sank, the last time I lookes outside..." "Shut up Wuffei!" "Alright..."

Wufei looked around. After several moments he stopped and said „Heero. You might want to look down there" „What is it? A rabbit with a waistcoat?" „It looks like two legs to me." Heero looked down. Yep, that _did_ look like two legs to him, too. Wasn´t that great? They were here for like 3 minutes or so and had already managed to kill one person. At least. They didn´t know if there were more people underneath that piece of junk, formerly known as house. The legs wore an uniform and sparkling ruby red shoes. A cracked pair of glasses lay next to the legs. „Uh-huh"

Heero commented. Then they heard some sort of tinkling and a figure in a ...bubble... arrived. At second glance it was a tall man with a long mane of white-blond hair, azure blue eyes and a slightly pissed look on a beautiful face. He looked as if he wished he wouldn´t be here right now. His eyes quickly observed the scenery, stopped at Heero, then at Wufei, then quickly looked back to Heero again. He tilted his head, recognized that legs and then smiled. „You killed her, cool. Are you a wicked or a good witch?" Heero snorted. „I´m a guy, if you didn´t notice. And my name is Heero." „Hi Heero, I´m Zechs, sorta off witch of the north. Is that your dog?" „INJUSTICE!" „Is he always like that?" „Pretty much, yes." „Uh-huh." „I´m Wufei and I´m NOT a dog." „Whatever. Tell me, how did you drop your house onto her?" „The house dropped itself; and who was this anyway?" „She? She way the wicked witch of the East, nasty girl. Calls herself Lady and enslaves the munchkins and stuff. And all she could think about was T...let´s skip that." „What´s a munchkin?" Heero and Wufei asked in unison. Zechs covered his face with one hand and shoook his head. „You had to call for that, hadn´t you?" Then lots of little...creatures came to them. Zechs sighed heavily. Those munckins were singing happily, calling Heero their saviour and stuff, when suddenly there was a crack and lots of smoke emerged from one place. Out came a girl who coughed and tried to wipe that smoke away. Zechs let a „Oh no!" escape his lips, before the girl stepped forward. She had wheat blond hair, wore a pink dress that was a humiliation for Heero´s already damaged eyes and as soon as she discovered Heero she patted the dust away from her dress, pulled out a little mirror and refreshed her make-up. Then she moved in , what she thought of as, seductive steps towards Heero. „I´m Relena. And you are?" „I´m Heero." replied Heero monotonically. "Heeeeeeeeeerooooooo!" she exclaimed happily. Zechs rolled his eyes and his lips formed a silent "Not again." Heero ignored the sound molesting his ears. He hoped she would consider him uninteresting and leave. Very quickly."I´m the powerful (though astonishingly beautiful) witch of the west. Soooo nice to meet you, Heeeeeeeeeero!" „Hey, you let the wicked out." said Zechs.

Relena 0 : Zechs 1.

Suddenly Relenas face grew far less friendly. „Would you have thought about it, my dear brother, here for greeting his cute sister."

Relena 1: Zechs 1

„Unless there´s one more sister I have, I have no idea who you could mean."Zechs replied.

Relena 1: Zechs 2 .

Relena blushed furiously, then said „I did not expect you so early here. I would have thought you were still trying to dry your hair."

Relena 2:Zechs 2

Zechs smirked, then shook his head in a way (as in the shampoo commercials) that made his silvery mane fly over his shoulder. „You´re just jealous mine is far more prettier than your´s, and that without all that conditioner and lotions you have to use."

Clear Winner: Zechs.

You could tell by the look on Relena´s face that that one did hit a sore spot. Relena switched topic by paying attention to legs. „Aw, poor Une." she said with a sad expression that was even more fake than a gucchi bag for 2 $, „wait a sec, that means I get new shoes." There was a chimy sound and next thing Heero knew was that _he_ was wearing the ruby shoes. Zechs put his wand away (which looked an awful lot like Epyon´s weapon) Heero glanced at his feet, then to legs, then to his feet again, when a thought emerged in his mind. „I´m wearing the shoes of a corpse!" Now he was mad. „What the hell.." He was about ready to pull his gun out and shoot someone when Relena screamed „I will make you pay, pretty and that dog of yours, too" she twinkled, blew Heero a kiss, glared death to Zechs who was absently minded playing with a strand of his hair, which made the wicked witch even more furious; then there was a poof and she was gone, leaving another smoke cloud behind.

Heero grabbed Zechs by his collar. „What was that supposed to mean?" he hissed. But then realized that , even if you could stare like a glacier, 1) Zechs could do it better and 2) he was also about 30cm taller than Heero. „I prevented that little brat aka little sister from causing even more mayhem than she does usually.Those are some sort of enchanted shoes. And I don´t want to find out what happens, if she becomes even more powerful than she is now. Savy?" Heero nodded. „How do we get home?" Wufei asked. He was occupied to keep those munchkins from tugging at his tail, ears and clothes. „Idunno. Ask the wizard." Zechs said and shrugged. „Who is that wizard guy?" Wufei asked when a little munchkin grabbed his tail and yanked it. Zechs face became soft for some reason and his eyes got that dreamy expression when he answered. „Aw, he´s great. The Wizard of OZ. A very powerful man, maybe the strongest one alive. And he has the absolutet cutest...forget I just said anything. Just find him, willya?" Heero posed in his ruby shoes. „Hey, you think they make my face look pale?" Zechs ignored him. Wufei had just managed to kick one of the little pests away. How much he wished to have his sword with him right now.„And where does that wizard live?"he asked. „Emerald City, you can´t miss it. Strucks the eye, yknow." „And how do we get there?" asked Heero. Zechs had now a haunted expression on his face. „Why, for the love of heaven and hell, had you to ask?" he whispered terrified, but it was too late. The munchkins started singing. Very loudly and very ..well just very loud. Heero classified them as weapons of mass destruction, b-type. Zechs covered his ears and flew away (Tallgeese-Style). „Lucky bastard." Heero thought as he ran as fast as he could to escape the insane-singing munchkins. They were still getting louder and the sound sent shivers down their spines. Heero cursed the new shoes and tried to accelerate a bit more. Wufei caught up with him. „ Did they really sing Yellow brick road?" „Stop questioning and keep running." Heero replied.


End file.
